


what she needed

by hanorganaas



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode: s03e04 Devils You Know, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fall into despair may not have not have been as long of a drop...but the results were just as catastrophic. Just as they should if someone they once loved, they once held, they once kissed, had died in front of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what she needed

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my Buddy E.J. (CharlieBradburies) for doing a quick beta check.
> 
> And sorry for the angst the emotions just came out, and I needed to write this after the episode.

“Melinda, it’s me.”

Melinda shut herself inside that night.

She didn’t want to see anyone. She didn’t want to speak with anyone. She only said, to a few people, that she would be alright, that she merely needed to be alone to collect her thoughts.

Phil knew better. He saw the look in her eyes - there was destruction and despair in them….she was an atomic bomb waiting to detonate with explosions. Phil could listen to her pleas. He could just ignore it and let her mourn alone. 

“Melinda, I’m coming in,” Phil said, slowly opening the door. It wasn’t locked, which usually meant that she secretly wanted someone to comfort her. The perils of knowing someone for so long and so well: one reads them like a book.

The room was dimly lit, only illuminated by a single lamp. Even so, it wasn’t hard to find her in the darkness.

She was sprawled out across the bed, face first and with her arms are stretched out in front of her. She sobbed, body shaking vigorously as each cry left her lips like a wave. She was a far cry from the strong and brave woman who could take down men twice her size and fight monsters without even flinching. It was almost like someone had came in and replaced her with an imposter. 

Phil hadn’t seen her like this Bahrain; with mournful wails leaving her lips like a siren, and her cheeks changing from their sandy shade to hot fiery red from crying. He could feel her shaking from the pressure of her weight against his side as they sat in the back of the plane for eight grueling hours.

The fall into despair may not have not have been as long of a drop...but the results were just as catastrophic. Just as they should if someone they once loved, they once held, they once kissed, had died in front of them. 

Phil knew he could tell her a thousand things in an attempt to make it better. He could tell her that there was no body found among the rubble. That the blood on the ground could be someone else’s and not Andrew’s. But it would be no use, only a miracle could have saved Andrew. They both knew that.

Phil shut the door behind him. No one else on base needed to see this broken shell of the woman everyone on this team had learned to love. Seeing such a pillar of strength at her weakest would be almost foreign to them. He took a few small steps closer to her. 

_Do not be forceful. Be understanding._

“Melinda,” he said. She never budged, just kept herself in this vulnerable form, like a child. 

“I came to check on you.” Still no acknowledgement. 

“If you want me to leave, I’ll leave. But if you want me to stay, I will.”

Melinda still never lifted her head, but she spoke. Her voice was harsh and the words were muffled by the pillow, but somehow he managed to decipher the words:

“Stay….please.”

Phil slowly nodded, and sat at the edge of the bed. He had this instinct to scoop her up in his arms and hold her close, wanted to rock her back and forth and tell her everything was okay - but he knew Melinda well. She never liked to be pushed. If he wanted to do such a thing, he had to approach her, but he had a small feeling in his gut that she needed some type of physical comfort.

Phil slowly put his hand on her shoulder, running it down the smooth line of the curve of her spine. At first, Melinda flinched, and he quickly moved his hand away - thinking he’d overstepped his boundaries - but her own hand was quick to catch it. 

“Don’t,” Melinda said hoarsely, and slowly sat up. Her eyes were swollen and crimson, like the color of her usually sand-colored cheeks. She looked different from the woman he knew...brave and stoic, with an occasional smile that lit up the room like stars in the nighttime. Still, there was something beautiful beneath that truly looked….human. “Hold me.”

Melinda wrapped her arms around him, almost settling into his lap. Her head rested on his chest where his heart beat quickly. At first, he was a loss for what to do; Andrew, a man with who, Melinda had once shared her heart, hadn’t even been dead for hours and here she was, settling into the arms of another man. Was he overstepping? 

But after all, he was her friend? Right? 

He sighed deeply as his good hand brushed against her face, fingers brushing her tears away; his bionic hand settled to make small and soothing patterns against the ridges of her spine. His shirt began to dampen by wet and heavy tears spilling from her eyes.

“Shhh...shhh,” he cooed as he rocked Melinda back and forth.

Phil was not Andrew. He would never be Andrew. He would never had the confidence and charm of a NYU graduate with a doctorate. He would never have a deep and masculine voice. He would never have mysterious onyx eyes that made all who were attracted to him get lost in their beautiful gaze. He would never have the smile that would make a woman swoon. Above all he would never have that youthful glow that Andrew had retained even though years had passed and time had weathered him.

A part of him thought Melinda needed Andrew: tall, kind, smart, and handsome Andrew. 

But when Phil looked down at Melinda, she looked comfortable. She looked _warm._ Her tears began to die down, and her violent rattling diminished to just small tremors. 

Phil smiled as he slowly rested his chin at the top of her head.

In a time of such chaos and uncertainty….. _this_ was what she needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed remember comments and kudos are AWESOME SAUCE!


End file.
